When the apostles had to choose a replacement for Judas (Acts 1: 21-22) their criterion was someone who had been consistently present with Jesus and who would join them in witnessing to the resurrection. Reflecting on the Gospels we can get some sense of what it would have been like to have been in the physical presence of Jesus. It would have been challenging, as we would have had to share our lives with all kinds of people from whom otherwise we might have wanted to keep our distance: the poor, the outcasts, those with various kinds of handicaps and diseases, those considered the wretches of society.
Perhaps what would have been most difficult would be the fact that these followers of Jesus, because of their recognition of their various vulnerabilities, would have had arrived at a level of self-effacing humility we would probably have found disturbing. And we would have had to put up with the suspicious stares of the wealthy, the powerful and the many kinds of elites, who would have kept their distance from him, but also kept a watchful and judgmental eye on him, and by association, on us.
The poor and the powerless flocked to Jesus because they sensed from him a level of acceptance, care and love they had never experienced anywhere else. And because he spoke and acted in God’s name, they experienced from him healing and forgiveness in terms of their relationship with God, and a restoration of their own sense of dignity and self-respect.
Sometimes I think we don’t quite ‘get it’ in terms of why, at least in historic terms, Jesus was crucified. It was because his life and ministry threatened the very elaborate religious structures of the day upon which the powerful relied for their power, but which kept the poor and the outcast at a distance from God. In contrast to those alienating religious structures, Jesus spoke of, and rendered present, the utter nearness of God. It was what might seem to us innocuous statements such as ‘when you pray, go to your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you’ (Mt. 6:6) that got him into the kind of trouble that ultimately led to his killing.
Jesus witnessed to the caring and merciful love of God. He rendered this love present for all. Those who accepted it experienced forgiveness, healing and joy; those who did not, experienced judgement. St Paul (1 Cor. 13) speaks of love as always patient, kind, not envious or boastful, as keeping no record of wrongdoing but delighting in the truth. He speaks of love as always protecting, trusting, hoping and persevering. When he speaks of love, Paul is really speaking of God in Christ. It is God who is always patient, kind, protecting, trusting, ready to forgive, and so on.
True Witnesses
Those who share in the ministry of Christ, are called, like the first apostles, themselves to live in Christ’s challenging yet healing presence. It is only by so doing that they can truly witness to God’s merciful love. To be present to Christ means to be present to the totality of ourselves, including our woundedness, and our sinfulness. How can we experience mercy if we do not recognise our need of it?
Priests are called to be true witnesses to Christ. But does this mean that they have to be ‘perfect’ people? In the past, certainly, there was a tendency for people to see priests as perfect, and perhaps it was strangely comforting to imagine that there was a kind of ‘elite officer corps’ of Christians leading us. Priests, in turn, felt that they had to hide their weaknesses and sinfulness, but this made it more difficult to deal with and overcome them. It also added to their sense of loneliness and isolation.
But is witnessing to Christ and witnessing to perfection the same thing? Does any human being, this side of death, achieve perfection?
There is a dilemma here, one we are painfully aware of in recent times as we have been forced to recognise the failures and sinfulness of some priests and bishops. On the one hand, we rightly expect high standards of those who put themselves forward as our spiritual leaders. But, on the other, can we really expect them to be without fault or failing? Can we expect them to be free of sin, in all its various forms? Is not the true witness of the apostle and disciple, witness not to his own perfection but to the perfect love of Christ which is struggling to find fruit in his life?
Henri Nouwen spoke of ministry in terms of putting one’s own search for God at the disposal of others who wished to join in the search and did not know how. Perhaps the priest puts his own struggle to accept God’s love, to live out of this love, to accept God’s unconditional and persistent love and acceptance of him, and this love alone, at the disposal of others. True witness, then, consists more in proclaiming God’s fidelity than one’s own. It consists of not giving up on God’s love, and on not surrendering in despair to one’s own stubborn and resistant nature.
United to the Heart of Christ
The key to holiness and perfection is to remain united to the Heart of Christ, to abide in his presence, to find the courage to be fully present, with all our vulnerabilities, our sinfulness and imperfection, and allow that Sacred Heart to bless, heal and protect. We pray this month for our priests. We pray God’s protection upon them. We ask God’s guidance to give them courage to lead us through these difficult times, with hearts and minds trusting in God’s caring and merciful love.
Eamonn Conway is a priest and theologian.