Why do I work? Why am I drawn to some people more than others? Why do I get up every morning and do the same things day in day out? Why am I willing to forgive some people more than others? Why do I go to Mass? Why do I get mad with myself for not being able to do something? The list is endless yet the answers are all linked together. The more I reflect on these questions the more I am drawn into relationship, relationship with others, relationship with God, relationship with self.
In L’Arche we are called into relationship with the person who has an intellectual disability. We call these people ‘core members’ because they are at the heart of all we do. They help me to discover the ‘why’ of the world.
Last week I took Michelle, Chantelle and Aoife (three of our core members) to a playground. My motive being that I wanted some fun photographs (which I got) but they also showed me another world, one of uncontrollable laughter, overcoming the fear factor, courage, how to climb to the top of the tallest climbing frame and swing down like a monkey or pretend to be a bird. Now you might be wondering where the relationship in the playground is? Well I can tell you it was everywhere; every time I pushed the swing and heard the squeals of delight, or every time they climbed the highest slide and I had to coax them down. Sometimes their faces were buried in the palms of their hands because they couldn’t bear to look down. Then the sheer delight when I’d shout ‘you can look now,’ especially as their bums touched the ground and their faces lit up.
On the see-saw or the roundabouts all they wanted was more, and the more I gave of myself, pushing the equipment, the more my spirit was rewarded. I could feel my spirit soar as I joined in the laughing; I could feel the anguish of not wanting to let go the rail at the top of the slide; I could rejoice in their triumph as they accomplished something new, and I felt loved as they trusted every word I spoke. And all we did was go to the playground.
Relationship with God! When our core members pray they pray for the needs of people from around the world who have just suffered a disaster, or people who have been injured in some tragic event. They pray for each other and for the assistants who help them to live their daily life. They show no embarrassment in praying for their own needs, drawing me once again into relationship. Now that I have heard their needs I have no choice but to respond, even if my response is to pray their needs will be answered. Why can I not be as open in prayer? I think it’s because I have not yet learned to trust my relationship with God. I have not learned to let God speak through me; even though I see their prayers have been answered I still pray quietly to myself hoping God will answer my prayer.
I know He will, but look at all the relationships I have missed out on, giving people the chance to get to know me and my needs, allowing people to care for me, and allowing people to love me in all my vulnerability.
One thing L’Arche has taught me is to laugh at myself. To see the fun in the task, to ask for help, to reward honesty, and allow the art of forming a relationship to surface. A hard journey to embark on, but one which is rewarded in many different ways.
The call to relationship for me is the call to respond in whatever way I am able. It’s the “why” I do what I do. Sometimes it’s a look, sometimes it’s a hug, sometimes I take on a particular task, sometimes I pray, sometimes I fight for what I believe to be just, sometimes I have to say I’m sorry. The list once again is endless, but always I end my day exhausted yet totally in love with living. And a nice glass of red wine!!!
L’Arche is a French word; translated into English it means ‘the Ark’.
A safe place for all God’s gifts to his people.