St. Ignatius talks about 'Finding God in all things', even in the things of everyday life, no matter now seemingly trivial or banal. This film reminds me of this a lot; it is such a simple idea beautifully presented, to interview Irish women about the men in their lives. Ken Wardrop's film is made up of short interviews featuring ninety women (aged one to ninety) from the Irish Midlands. Warasks each woman about their relationships with the men in their lives. The results are surprisingly honest and loving; these are funny, compassionate and committed women. Even though the film opens with an Irish proverb about a man: "A man loves his girlfriend the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest"; it's actually the women who are the main focus. We see the men through the eyes of these Irish women and through their stories about life and love.
This is not an elite, specially selected Hollywood star cast or some Desperate Housewives- this is a wide cross section of midlands women, a real slice of life. It is so refreshing to see them go about the things of ordinary life, the things that are normally airbrushed out, and to be so brilliantly themselves. It is an invitation to all of us to the masks and the pretence and just be oneself because, as the women say so eloquently about their men, that what they love.
It is the attention to detail that is striking: one woman puts on her shoes, another cleans the bathroom, another reads the paper while the dog gazes devotedly at her. It is astonishing in its simplicity and is pregnant with meaning- these everyday things we do are so thoroughly human, we all do them, and yet culture portrays them as unimportant or not "cool". It is in being truly human that we are closest to God, and this is evident in the raw honesty of the personalities and the way they let us into their lives. Although we never actually see them, the women make personal commentaries on fathers, boyfriends, loss of partners and aging. These are stories of desire, relationships, happiness, grief and love.
Poignantly, the only man appears in the very last scene where he passes by the room of an old 90 year old woman. She is in what appears to be a home, staring blankly out at the window where a stuffed teddy returns her gaze. Given the richness of emotional information about Irish women that we have picked up in other interviews, it is a tragedy to see the loneliness and sorrow etched into the shot. Again, it makes us think of basic humanity in the way we treat our old, how everyone is in need of relationship, and how modern society can be so isolating.
I was intrigued with the technique that Waremploys to link the interviews- with 90 of them it could have been very tedious- he uses long shots of stairs or doors to indicate a new subject. These are the cue for a new personality, a new woman gives us a vision of her life, but also it seems to be a metaphor for movement, growth and change. It harks back to the film's opening scene where a toddler opens a safety gate and climbs the stairs with quiet determination. That iconic scene is reflected in all the other challenges that these women overcome, whether it is walking alone as an elderly woman, learning to drive, or letting go of the past.
The movie is funny and uplifting in a very real way- I have never heard people laugh as much in a movie theatre. It wasn't the guffaws of comedy or shrieks of cynicism however; this was the spontaneous laugh of 'I've done that myself', 'I know what you mean', and 'Isn't life funny at times'. This is an empathic identification with the women involved, not actors playing a role, but real-life human beings talking about their lives and loves. Some of it is genuinely funny when the younger girls give out about their protective dad or their messy sister. Some of it is unconsciously funny as when the young woman explains about having two clothes lines (a 'his' and 'hers' to have him do his own washing), or when an older woman explains how she's learning to drive the tractor. All of it is experience taken over a lifetime of loving and growing, learning how to be happy with oneself and how to be in a relationship.
Go to see this film, it will change your day and change how you see your life!